When it comes to motherhood, much too often women find themselves in mommy wars. This is the war where mothers compare themselves to others in the thought that the way they raise their children is not just the best way, but the only way.
Examples of these are:
Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding – Honestly, whatever you do here is completely up to you. As long as your child is growing and healthy, what is there to fight about? I’ll be honest. I tried breastfeeding for a few weeks, with a mixture of bottle feeding as well. I have no trouble outright saying that I hated breastfeeding. It’s time consuming and exhausting, and though one time your baby’s latch is perfect, the next might be a fight to get baby to open her mouth enough or even stay awake through the process. It was frustrating for both us, usually ending up with Yuuki crying and me wanting to give up. Now, I’m exclusively bottle feeding, and it’s so much easier. I’m all for breastfeeding (it’s good for the baby), but ultimately, it just wasn’t for me, and that’s okay. And don’t worry, if you don’t breastfeed (either at all or not anymore), and you bought a boppy, they’re great for helping baby to sit up and provide baby some tummy time as well.
Disposable vs. Cloth Diapers – Again, there are advantages to both. Disposables are just that, disposable. There is the downside of cost however, especially if baby grows out of one size and you still have some left over. Cloth diapers help the environment, because they don’t get thrown away. Some also double as burp cloths too. However, they look time consuming (I haven’t used mine yet), and they can be expensive (with good reason, too).
Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home-Mom – Right now, I’m a SAHM, but that could soon change. I see the advantages: being there for your child all day, getting to see all the milestones firsthand, you save money on day care, etc. However, it’s also a full-time job. You’ll be dealing with diapers and feeding all day when the children are infants. They demand constant attention and it can often get overwhelming. You don’t get much alone time, and often, you’re trying to juggle household work as well, though don’t worry if you don’t get it all done in one day.
Working moms (I’m including Work-at-Home-Moms too) usually mean that day care or a babysitter is involved. I would love to be able to contribute financially to our household, but at the same time, it just gives another source of stress with work (This is not to say that SAHMs don’t work. If anything, they’re overworked like anyone else). There’s dividing your time between work and your children. There are good points too, such as having extra money, getting out of the house on your own, and having another outlet to focus on outside of children.
Also, think of it this way. Maybe that working mom wishes that she could stay at home with her children. Maybe that stay at home mom wishes she could work. Or maybe, just maybe, they’re perfectly happy where they are.
I think you are so right about breastfeeding.. It can take everything out of you to do it full time.
ReplyDeleteI have seen some moms that take to it like pros and never have any problems, sadly that was not me. I did my best to make it work for the first 3 months but gave in to the bottle in the end. Cloth diapers were great too before Val started growing like a weed again. Now we are back to huggies as it just costs too much to buy new covers every other month. An yes I have to say there are days when I would do anything to trade places with Alan and have a real job. Val has so much going on with him right now and he needs 100% of my time. I get a 1-2 hour break if I'm lucky at nap time and then I'm right back at it. Alan does not have a lot of time outside of work so I still end up doing about 90% of all the work around here. But even as hard as that is, getting to see him do something new for the first time is a great feeling! It's all one big trade off I think. But it's all so worth it in the end. (Or so they say!)