I know that I haven’t posted too much in the past few days. This isn’t something that I’m doing on purpose, just that I have a lot going on right now.
As I mentioned a few posts ago, I’ve been hired to write a novelized version of a manga. It’s a lot of fun, but it’s also extremely challenging. I’ve never written something that I didn’t create myself. Therefore, I’m left with using whatever dialogue I can that’s directly from the manga, and just using my own interpretations of what the characters are thinking. Also, I’m shooting for 50,000 words, and since I’m currently just over 6,000, I have a lot more to write before I finish. I write 1,000 words a day as often as I can. I admit that I skip a few days here and there, but it’s mostly because a more difficult task came up, say taking care of Yuuki all day, because she just won’t stop crying. Then again, I also miss, because I’m just having one of those days.
Today was one of those days, as was yesterday. Those days are when the very thought of writing on the novel sounds absolutely horrible. This is not to be confused with not wanting to work on it, just that upon having the screen in front of me, it looks unappealing. This happens when it comes to my own novels as well.
It’s also one of those days when I would just rather stay in bed all day than do anything else. I woke up this morning feeling just fine, but now I’m utterly exhausted, and I can’t take a nap, because Yuuki is just being fussy today.
I don’t really know the point of this thread other than to let everyone know that posts might take longer than usual to make their appearances. Once I’m done with the novel, I’ll be more on top of things. When it comes to what I do in my spare time, the novel takes precedence over everything else. However, I do slip up and spend way too much time on Facebook sometimes…okay, a lot of the time…but I’m working on that.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Hello, Motherhood! Goodbye, Modesty!
Warning: Post will contain some information that is TMI.
It’s very true. From the second that you get pregnant, any sense of modesty you have will be out the window. Now, I’m not saying that you’ll suddenly start stripping in public or will become a nudist, but a degree of your modesty will be gone. As someone who is uncomfortable wearing a shirt that is a centimeter too low-cut, this is saying a lot.
Being pregnant usually brings along an ability to go to the bathroom five times (or more) in thirty minutes. I’m the type who can’t stand when someone is in the stall next to me, but I quickly had to let go (pun unintentional) of my pride and just do it. Soon enough, I no longer cared if somebody was in the next stall over. Being pregnant does not give the ability to hold it in for long.
When I entered the hospital to be induced, I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught. Upon being shown to my room, I was instructed to put on a baggy, thin hospital gown, wearing nothing underneath. This is because the doctor regularly has to check for progress, which is so much easier if nothing is in the way. Yes, it is humiliating, but is it as humiliating as the first time I stepped into doctor’s office and I had to have a yearly exam? No, not at all.
Then, of course, baby is born. Once I began to push, my doctor and a few nurses were everywhere. Someone was constantly looking to see how much further you have to go before baby is born. Oh, and sorry if TMI, but don’t be surprised if a baby isn’t the only thing that is pushed out. It happens. It happened to me (it was actually something that I was worried might happen), but honestly, I didn’t find it that humiliating, because I knew about it and it’s completely normal.
Please forgive me if this post grossed you out in the slightest. It’s the unfortunate truth of being pregnant, and I’m not afraid to give a friendly warning to those out there who have never experienced it. And please keep in mind that just because it happened to me, it doesn’t mean it will happen to you.
It’s very true. From the second that you get pregnant, any sense of modesty you have will be out the window. Now, I’m not saying that you’ll suddenly start stripping in public or will become a nudist, but a degree of your modesty will be gone. As someone who is uncomfortable wearing a shirt that is a centimeter too low-cut, this is saying a lot.
Being pregnant usually brings along an ability to go to the bathroom five times (or more) in thirty minutes. I’m the type who can’t stand when someone is in the stall next to me, but I quickly had to let go (pun unintentional) of my pride and just do it. Soon enough, I no longer cared if somebody was in the next stall over. Being pregnant does not give the ability to hold it in for long.
When I entered the hospital to be induced, I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught. Upon being shown to my room, I was instructed to put on a baggy, thin hospital gown, wearing nothing underneath. This is because the doctor regularly has to check for progress, which is so much easier if nothing is in the way. Yes, it is humiliating, but is it as humiliating as the first time I stepped into doctor’s office and I had to have a yearly exam? No, not at all.
Then, of course, baby is born. Once I began to push, my doctor and a few nurses were everywhere. Someone was constantly looking to see how much further you have to go before baby is born. Oh, and sorry if TMI, but don’t be surprised if a baby isn’t the only thing that is pushed out. It happens. It happened to me (it was actually something that I was worried might happen), but honestly, I didn’t find it that humiliating, because I knew about it and it’s completely normal.
Please forgive me if this post grossed you out in the slightest. It’s the unfortunate truth of being pregnant, and I’m not afraid to give a friendly warning to those out there who have never experienced it. And please keep in mind that just because it happened to me, it doesn’t mean it will happen to you.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tip to Mothers: Be Creative!
In parenthood, sometimes you just don’t know why your child in crying. You’ve tried everything from changing to feeding to doing the most ridiculous face you can think of and nothing works. That’s the one it’s been for me today so far.
Yuuki has only been awake for about four hours, but she’s already consuming the contents of two bottles of formula. I’ve changed her diaper about four or five times. I’ve put her in different clothes just in case she was too warm. She’s had a brief nap in her swing.
For a while, a strange invention of mine was working to keep her on the quiet side. She is almost always absolutely mesmerized by her Takealong-Tunes, so I came up with this:
It’s not working anymore, but for some time, it did. So mothers, don’t be afraid to dig into your creative side and come up with something that might work. Oh, and don't use this if your swing actually works and you're going to turn on said swing. The batteries on ours are dead right now.
In parenthood, sometimes you just don’t know why your child in crying. You’ve tried everything from changing to feeding to doing the most ridiculous face you can think of and nothing works. That’s the one it’s been for me today so far.
Yuuki has only been awake for about four hours, but she’s already consuming the contents of two bottles of formula. I’ve changed her diaper about four or five times. I’ve put her in different clothes just in case she was too warm. She’s had a brief nap in her swing.
For a while, a strange invention of mine was working to keep her on the quiet side. She is almost always absolutely mesmerized by her Takealong-Tunes, so I came up with this:
It’s not working anymore, but for some time, it did. So mothers, don’t be afraid to dig into your creative side and come up with something that might work. Oh, and don't use this if your swing actually works and you're going to turn on said swing. The batteries on ours are dead right now.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Lucky in Pregnancy
This is just going to be a little post about what symptoms I dealt with during pregnancy, both good and bad.
Good:
1) I didn’t have swelling of the hands and feet. I wore my wedding rings until the day I gave birth.
2) I did not have gestational diabetes.
3) I was able to wear most of my normal clothes throughout pregnancy.
4) This doesn’t really count, but one of my cravings was chocolate.
5) Near the end of my pregnancy, I could eat tons of food. I once ate five pieces of french toast for a single meal.
Bad:
1) My blood type is 0-, so I had to have a Rho-GAM shot. It didn’t hurt, but the fact that I had to have it bothered me a bit. Basically, it means that your body might see your baby’s blood as intruders and attack it. It’s a scary thought.
2) I ended up testing positive for Group B Strep. I don’t even fully understand it, but the fact that I would need the medicine four hours before I gave birth helped me decide to be induced.
3) I do have stretch marks from pregnancy. For a long time, it looked like I would miss out (hahaha) on them, but in the final weeks, they appeared.
4) I did have morning sickness the first trimester. The very sight of pizza, even on TV, made me sick. Luckily, this passed and I was able to have pizza later on in pregnancy.
5) I had to have stitches after delivery.
Basically, this is to say that every pregnancy is different. Some woman won’t have to deal with morning sickness at all, or will have it a lot worse. Some women don’t need the Rho-GAM shot or will test positive for GBS. Some women won’t have any stretch marks. Some women won’t be able to wear rings on their fingers during pregnancy. Some women won’t have to get stitches when they deliver.
However your experiences are or will be, it will be different from anyone else’s experience. My next pregnancy, hopefully five years away, might leave me with none of these same symptoms (except for the stretch marks, those won’t go away).
Good:
1) I didn’t have swelling of the hands and feet. I wore my wedding rings until the day I gave birth.
2) I did not have gestational diabetes.
3) I was able to wear most of my normal clothes throughout pregnancy.
4) This doesn’t really count, but one of my cravings was chocolate.
5) Near the end of my pregnancy, I could eat tons of food. I once ate five pieces of french toast for a single meal.
Bad:
1) My blood type is 0-, so I had to have a Rho-GAM shot. It didn’t hurt, but the fact that I had to have it bothered me a bit. Basically, it means that your body might see your baby’s blood as intruders and attack it. It’s a scary thought.
2) I ended up testing positive for Group B Strep. I don’t even fully understand it, but the fact that I would need the medicine four hours before I gave birth helped me decide to be induced.
3) I do have stretch marks from pregnancy. For a long time, it looked like I would miss out (hahaha) on them, but in the final weeks, they appeared.
4) I did have morning sickness the first trimester. The very sight of pizza, even on TV, made me sick. Luckily, this passed and I was able to have pizza later on in pregnancy.
5) I had to have stitches after delivery.
Basically, this is to say that every pregnancy is different. Some woman won’t have to deal with morning sickness at all, or will have it a lot worse. Some women don’t need the Rho-GAM shot or will test positive for GBS. Some women won’t have any stretch marks. Some women won’t be able to wear rings on their fingers during pregnancy. Some women won’t have to get stitches when they deliver.
However your experiences are or will be, it will be different from anyone else’s experience. My next pregnancy, hopefully five years away, might leave me with none of these same symptoms (except for the stretch marks, those won’t go away).
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Insomnia
So, I’m not even sure to write about right now. It’s nearing one o’clock here and I can’t sleep, so I thought I would write another post while I’m up.
I’m usually exhausted when I get up in the morning, but by bedtime, I’m just not tired anymore.
Insomnia is not something that is new to me. I’ve always had a difficult time falling asleep, but it’s become even more difficult since Yuuki has been born. It’s all too easy to stay up late when most of my hours are spent taking care of a baby, and I’m wanting some me time or time with my husband.
It’s weird, because I spend so much time during the day around noise (crying, rattle, her Take-along Tunes, etc.) that I can’t sleep when it’s quieter (my husband likes background noise when he sleeps; I want none). I’ve taken plenty of naps in the middle of the day with the TV on and Yuuki’s swing playing music at the same time. I suppose it’s just one of those things that I’m going to have to get used to as a mother.
Now, I’m going to figure out how to balance sleep, baby, and writing. I’ve accepted a job from an independent source to write a novel based on a manga. I will have to make sure that I have plenty of time to devote to this job during the day, and with Yuuki’s semi-regular schedule, maybe I can work something out. I just hope that the hours I should spend sleeping don’t become new work hours.
I’m usually exhausted when I get up in the morning, but by bedtime, I’m just not tired anymore.
Insomnia is not something that is new to me. I’ve always had a difficult time falling asleep, but it’s become even more difficult since Yuuki has been born. It’s all too easy to stay up late when most of my hours are spent taking care of a baby, and I’m wanting some me time or time with my husband.
It’s weird, because I spend so much time during the day around noise (crying, rattle, her Take-along Tunes, etc.) that I can’t sleep when it’s quieter (my husband likes background noise when he sleeps; I want none). I’ve taken plenty of naps in the middle of the day with the TV on and Yuuki’s swing playing music at the same time. I suppose it’s just one of those things that I’m going to have to get used to as a mother.
Now, I’m going to figure out how to balance sleep, baby, and writing. I’ve accepted a job from an independent source to write a novel based on a manga. I will have to make sure that I have plenty of time to devote to this job during the day, and with Yuuki’s semi-regular schedule, maybe I can work something out. I just hope that the hours I should spend sleeping don’t become new work hours.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
After Delivery
I’m going to start off by saying that if you don’t feel an overwhelming love for your child from the moment you lay eyes on them, you’re not alone.
Giving birth is one of the most draining times, both physically and mentally, that a woman will ever do. Shortly after Yuuki was born, too fast to even wrap my mind around it, the nurses unsnapped my hospital gown and plopped her stomach-down on top of me for body warmth. I say plop, because literally it was as if she wasn’t there one second and then she was the next.
This isn’t even the weirdest part, but she was crying nonstop when she was born, and the second the nurses put her on me and our eyes met, she stopped. At least, I think that’s how it happened. I was still in shock from the actual process. I guess I must have looked it too, because one of the nurses asked if I was okay and if I wanted her to take Yuuki off me. I told her that I was fine and they could leave Yuuki there.
Here’s where the first sentence will start to make sense. I did not feel overwhelming love when Yuuki was born. I looked at her, and I was immediately thinking ‘that came out of me’ and ‘they lied when they say that you forget the pain the second you see your child’. I could remember the pain all too well. Actually, since I had an epidural, it was more like pressure. (Note: If you get an epidural, make sure to eat first, because you’re not allowed to afterwards.) All I knew was that I was relieved when she was finally out.
I’m going to be completely honest. I have never been a baby person. Before I had Yuuki, I had never changed a diaper, fed a baby, and had barely even held one. I had only held two babies before Yuuki. The first time was when the children’s pastor’s wife handed over her child to me while she went to do something during children’s church. The other time was when my best friend handed her child over to me unexpectedly. Both times, I just sat there awkwardly with no idea what to do with them.
With this knowledge, actually having a child was difficult to wrap my mind around. I almost thought that after all the doctor visits, the ultrasounds, after everything that proved that I was pregnant, that I would come to find that it was just a hysterical pregnancy. It’s strange for me to admit that, but it’s true. It did not feel real for a long time.
While she was still on me is when they birthed the placenta. All I remember is a very unpleasant tugging and pulling feeling and the relief when it was out too. I won’t say more than that. I did not see it, thank goodness.
After an hour, they took her off me and proceeded to wash and clothe her. I was just waiting in the hospital bed the entire time, watching everything happen around me. The only things I really felt were being worn out and tired. She cried the entire time they washed her.
One of the worst things was that since I had had an epidural, which numbs you from the waist down, I was not allowed to get up without a nurse there to assist me. Once I was able to, the hospital bed was remade, and I was finally able to eat at midnight. Remember, I hadn’t eaten since about 7 that morning. It honestly just took them forever to actually get the food to me. I mentioned wanting to eat almost immediately after delivery.
The other part that I really did not enjoy was that I ran a fever for awhile after delivery. Therefore, I was not allowed to shower or bathe until I was back at normal body temperature. They also would not take out my IVs. Every few hours, a nurse would come in to check my blood pressure and temperature, so I slept in about hour long blocks of time. It was not until nearly 3 or 4 in the morning when my temperature was finally back to normal, and the IVs could be taken out. It was amazing to be able to walk around freely.
I will write about the recovery process later. If you have any questions, just mention them in your comment.
Giving birth is one of the most draining times, both physically and mentally, that a woman will ever do. Shortly after Yuuki was born, too fast to even wrap my mind around it, the nurses unsnapped my hospital gown and plopped her stomach-down on top of me for body warmth. I say plop, because literally it was as if she wasn’t there one second and then she was the next.
This isn’t even the weirdest part, but she was crying nonstop when she was born, and the second the nurses put her on me and our eyes met, she stopped. At least, I think that’s how it happened. I was still in shock from the actual process. I guess I must have looked it too, because one of the nurses asked if I was okay and if I wanted her to take Yuuki off me. I told her that I was fine and they could leave Yuuki there.
Here’s where the first sentence will start to make sense. I did not feel overwhelming love when Yuuki was born. I looked at her, and I was immediately thinking ‘that came out of me’ and ‘they lied when they say that you forget the pain the second you see your child’. I could remember the pain all too well. Actually, since I had an epidural, it was more like pressure. (Note: If you get an epidural, make sure to eat first, because you’re not allowed to afterwards.) All I knew was that I was relieved when she was finally out.
I’m going to be completely honest. I have never been a baby person. Before I had Yuuki, I had never changed a diaper, fed a baby, and had barely even held one. I had only held two babies before Yuuki. The first time was when the children’s pastor’s wife handed over her child to me while she went to do something during children’s church. The other time was when my best friend handed her child over to me unexpectedly. Both times, I just sat there awkwardly with no idea what to do with them.
With this knowledge, actually having a child was difficult to wrap my mind around. I almost thought that after all the doctor visits, the ultrasounds, after everything that proved that I was pregnant, that I would come to find that it was just a hysterical pregnancy. It’s strange for me to admit that, but it’s true. It did not feel real for a long time.
While she was still on me is when they birthed the placenta. All I remember is a very unpleasant tugging and pulling feeling and the relief when it was out too. I won’t say more than that. I did not see it, thank goodness.
After an hour, they took her off me and proceeded to wash and clothe her. I was just waiting in the hospital bed the entire time, watching everything happen around me. The only things I really felt were being worn out and tired. She cried the entire time they washed her.
One of the worst things was that since I had had an epidural, which numbs you from the waist down, I was not allowed to get up without a nurse there to assist me. Once I was able to, the hospital bed was remade, and I was finally able to eat at midnight. Remember, I hadn’t eaten since about 7 that morning. It honestly just took them forever to actually get the food to me. I mentioned wanting to eat almost immediately after delivery.
The other part that I really did not enjoy was that I ran a fever for awhile after delivery. Therefore, I was not allowed to shower or bathe until I was back at normal body temperature. They also would not take out my IVs. Every few hours, a nurse would come in to check my blood pressure and temperature, so I slept in about hour long blocks of time. It was not until nearly 3 or 4 in the morning when my temperature was finally back to normal, and the IVs could be taken out. It was amazing to be able to walk around freely.
I will write about the recovery process later. If you have any questions, just mention them in your comment.
Why I’m Not Fond of the Newborn Stage
I’m not going to lie. I’m not too fond of the early months of a baby’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter, but it’s not always bunnies and rainbows.
I don’t much care for having my daughter depend on me for everything. I understand why, and I do it anyway, but that doesn’t mean I’m fond of it. Also, I don’t like not knowing why she’s crying, especially when nothing seems to work. Does she need to be changed? Yes, okay, and she’s still crying. Is she hungry? Okay, and still crying. Usually at this point, she’s dry and full, so she might go down for a nap or she might enjoy either her bouncer or her swing. And that’s not working, which means she probably wants to be held or entertained.
Now, I understand that part of figuring out what’s wrong is trial and error. If this doesn’t work, something else must be the issue. However, sometimes it is a much longer process than I like.
This morning, when I was feeding Yuuki for the first time, she actually held her bottle up for about 3 seconds. It was actually probably closer to one second, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Instead of being upset that she’s reached a new milestone (if you want to call it that, she didn’t do it again), I was glad. I look forward to when she can point and show me what she wants instead of trying to play a guessing game. I can’t wait until she can talk and tell me. I can’t wait until she can walk. I can’t wait until she can hold her own bottle.
I understand that these milestones also lead to more problems. She’ll learn to say ‘no’, and it’ll be her new favorite word for awhile. She’ll get older and refuse to get into the car seat for the fourth time in one day. She’ll start running away and squirm like crazy when I try to change her, both diapers and clothes. She’ll have her own opinions and voice them, and she’ll think she’s the center of the universe. She won’t understand when I try to reason and explain things to her, at least not at first.
However, I look forward to it more than I dread it. I’ve always wanted to raise a strong, independent woman. If she has to go through her difficult phases to get there, so be it.
I don’t much care for having my daughter depend on me for everything. I understand why, and I do it anyway, but that doesn’t mean I’m fond of it. Also, I don’t like not knowing why she’s crying, especially when nothing seems to work. Does she need to be changed? Yes, okay, and she’s still crying. Is she hungry? Okay, and still crying. Usually at this point, she’s dry and full, so she might go down for a nap or she might enjoy either her bouncer or her swing. And that’s not working, which means she probably wants to be held or entertained.
Now, I understand that part of figuring out what’s wrong is trial and error. If this doesn’t work, something else must be the issue. However, sometimes it is a much longer process than I like.
This morning, when I was feeding Yuuki for the first time, she actually held her bottle up for about 3 seconds. It was actually probably closer to one second, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Instead of being upset that she’s reached a new milestone (if you want to call it that, she didn’t do it again), I was glad. I look forward to when she can point and show me what she wants instead of trying to play a guessing game. I can’t wait until she can talk and tell me. I can’t wait until she can walk. I can’t wait until she can hold her own bottle.
I understand that these milestones also lead to more problems. She’ll learn to say ‘no’, and it’ll be her new favorite word for awhile. She’ll get older and refuse to get into the car seat for the fourth time in one day. She’ll start running away and squirm like crazy when I try to change her, both diapers and clothes. She’ll have her own opinions and voice them, and she’ll think she’s the center of the universe. She won’t understand when I try to reason and explain things to her, at least not at first.
However, I look forward to it more than I dread it. I’ve always wanted to raise a strong, independent woman. If she has to go through her difficult phases to get there, so be it.
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