Why I’m Not Fond of the Newborn Stage

I’m not going to lie. I’m not too fond of the early months of a baby’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter, but it’s not always bunnies and rainbows.
I don’t much care for having my daughter depend on me for everything. I understand why, and I do it anyway, but that doesn’t mean I’m fond of it. Also, I don’t like not knowing why she’s crying, especially when nothing seems to work. Does she need to be changed? Yes, okay, and she’s still crying. Is she hungry? Okay, and still crying. Usually at this point, she’s dry and full, so she might go down for a nap or she might enjoy either her bouncer or her swing. And that’s not working, which means she probably wants to be held or entertained.

Now, I understand that part of figuring out what’s wrong is trial and error. If this doesn’t work, something else must be the issue. However, sometimes it is a much longer process than I like.

This morning, when I was feeding Yuuki for the first time, she actually held her bottle up for about 3 seconds. It was actually probably closer to one second, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Instead of being upset that she’s reached a new milestone (if you want to call it that, she didn’t do it again), I was glad. I look forward to when she can point and show me what she wants instead of trying to play a guessing game. I can’t wait until she can talk and tell me. I can’t wait until she can walk. I can’t wait until she can hold her own bottle.

I understand that these milestones also lead to more problems. She’ll learn to say ‘no’, and it’ll be her new favorite word for awhile. She’ll get older and refuse to get into the car seat for the fourth time in one day. She’ll start running away and squirm like crazy when I try to change her, both diapers and clothes. She’ll have her own opinions and voice them, and she’ll think she’s the center of the universe. She won’t understand when I try to reason and explain things to her, at least not at first.

However, I look forward to it more than I dread it. I’ve always wanted to raise a strong, independent woman. If she has to go through her difficult phases to get there, so be it.