Who Comes First?

Sorry for the brief hiatus. I’ve been trying to figure out my next topic, and I finally decided on one.

One thing that I’ve taken a lot of consideration into is the issue of who comes first, the spouse (or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.) or the child. It is my personal opinion that the spouse should come first.

Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions, let me explain what it means to me. It does not mean that I would buy a big screen television for my husband over a can of formula or a package of diapers. It does not even mean that I would buy myself clothes when my daughter needs them more. My husband and I have both agreed that we would both starve before she would. I still consider this decision putting my husband first, because it shows Yuuki that any relationship requires sacrifice.

Let me make it clear that to me, putting my husband first means that I put my marriage with him first. The most important thing that we can give our daughter is a good example of what a marriage should be. I want her to grow up knowing what to look for in a spouse. I will not make a decision concerning my daughter without consulting my husband on it. If she is 16 and wants a later curfew, I won’t answer her without talking to him first.

And take any hypothetical questions about who would I save if both my husband and daughter were drowning out of the running. One, because what is the chance that would ever happen? Two, how dare anyone ask me to choose between the two most important people in my life.

I love them for two completely different reasons. I love my husband, because he’s the man I choose to spend the rest of my life with. He supports me in all the decisions I make and is the person I can go to for anything. He never makes me feel stupid for feeling a certain way, but he also tells it to me straight. If I’m being rude, he’ll tell me, because sometimes you just need someone to say it out loud to realize how ridiculous you’re being. Also, without him, Yuuki would not exist, and how would I have come to love her if she was never born?

I love my daughter because she is my flesh and blood. I see both myself and my husband in her, whether it’s the fact that she’s a deep sleeper or her facial expressions. How could I not love someone that is the perfect mix of both my husband and me?

The one thing that I will not give up for either though, is myself. By that, I mean that I am more than just a mother and wife, I am also a person. I take time out of everyday for myself. I go on Facebook. I write. I read a good, or sometimes not-so-good, book. I listen to music. I watch television. I am still my own person.

You can feel free to disagree with me. We’re all entitled to our feelings.